@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
