We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize