I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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