see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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