I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
