I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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