you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
