Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize