our cab driver is having phone sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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