you would pick up someone in the library
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
