hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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