I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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