i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
