That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
