these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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