you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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