remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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