Say something about gay babies.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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