we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
