Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was