Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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(248): Well apparently he's into motor boating. http://tfl.nu/kjue

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(248): View more from Michigan

new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.

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(248): new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home. http://tfl.nu/dmz8

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(415): View more from California

i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.

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(415): i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break. http://tfl.nu/4rzb

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(940): View more from Texas

good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom

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(940): good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom http://tfl.nu/suhd

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(817): View more from Texas

I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.

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(817): I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe. http://tfl.nu/w5m0

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(760): View more from California

For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".

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(760): For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad". http://tfl.nu/gpn1

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

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(901): Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives. http://tfl.nu/lbn9

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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(570): found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory. http://tfl.nu/fqts

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(224): View more from Illinois

It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'

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(224): It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat' http://tfl.nu/0g9k

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(949): View more from California

you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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(949): you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application. http://tfl.nu/ha6k

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(423): View more from Tennessee

There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.

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(423): There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself. http://tfl.nu/9xij

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(815): View more from Illinois

I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie

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(815): I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie http://tfl.nu/y42e

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

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(615): Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often. http://tfl.nu/4yb3

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(219): View more from Indiana

You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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(219): You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you http://tfl.nu/zonx

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.

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(541): I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out. http://tfl.nu/0h9b

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