i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
its not stalking. its research.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.