Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Be still, my beating vagina.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.