he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
