"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
