Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
