I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
