Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
