the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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