Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
honey bunches of taint.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
