This is not my ceiling
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
