Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
