I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
