oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
