Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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