I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it's like iHOP with fire
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
