Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
