yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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