Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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