Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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