batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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