So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
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Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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