It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
