ugly people sure do ruin things
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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