I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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