I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
