dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
