its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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