Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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