i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
