i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just gift wrapped bread.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
