Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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