You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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