If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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