And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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