another moral hangover. fuck.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
