I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
