dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize