winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize