How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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