could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
