ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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